28 February 2010
3 february: a revue
"say a prayer for my bottom today. this is the first time i've worn a thong in 10 months."
"this is SO your rory moment!"
"remember when bread caused cancer?"
"i have had hair, and there is nothing to it."
"can't you just hear the mary tyler moore theme song in the background of my life?"
"he was wearing the 'i'm about to get an std tonight!' grin."
"what kind of underwear would one have to be wearing to have a wedgie that bad?"
"i don't think pastors are supposed to talk from the pulpit about the vaginas of women who are not their wives."
"you always look so pulled together."
"gosh, that's sweet of you to say because the dominant theme of my life is falling apart."
"it is safe to say he is the greatest skater ever to wear a mullet."
"bebe is for women who have sex tapes."
"even the guy in the awesomely fitting gym pants talking on his iPhone and marking things off the list he had carried in on a notepad looked happy and ready to go home and cook his whomever dinner and selflessly give up the night to olympic figure skating routines."
"that was back when AOL was still mailing the internet to your house on CD."
"wow. weather.com rolls like that?"
"yeah, i didn't really realize how short my skirt was that night."
"i realized it. and then later, after all those beers, i realized again."
"then i discovered it was sponsored by the revolution communist party and that's when i walked away."
"that is what i am counting as our valentine's day celebrations. kung pao chicken and the hangover."
"outside of the euphoria of films and concerts and the unusually giddy excitement i have about amazon.com sales, i don't think i remember what happiness actually is."
"my child must seem like a ginormous monster beast to newborns."
"meanwhile, skiing remains a major concern."