31 December 2009

0 december: a revue



"you forgot to tell me a possible side effect of reading that book is growing a vagina."

"you just can't spear that."

"it's really hard to write a tournament scene about an imaginary sport."

"oh yes! we have hand wipes! oh no... they're coffee creamers."

"i think 2010 is going to be the year of the vagina."

"you're my only bitch."
"oh that's sweet."
"isn't it? in a non-domestic violence way."

"when the most recent activity prior to sex is the birthing of a child, it is hard for one to focus."

"yeah, well you can tell him that messy girl he met in the elevator left a mess in your toilet for him."

"given the weather this week, i am concerned that going up the back might not be the greatest idea."

"MA'AM, ALL of the shirts we have are bisexual."

"maybe your pelvis is your stress place."

"i have taught my mother how to use amazon.com. she is truly a liberated woman now."

"there’s something about canada that makes him think he’s in a wee and whimsical, easily traversable land."

"my life goals today involve eating an apple and taking a shower."

"wow. auschwitz has nothing on you."

"i have no doubt it will end in failure... and cake."

"well, as embarrassing as it is for us as nobodies to stand around in front of people looking awkward, i can imagine it's only worse to stand around in front of people looking awkward when you're famous."

"i have to say, croftie looks more and more like a relative with each new photo."

"i must admit also that when i reached for the condom, the thought 'ooh! caroline will be so proud!' did flash through my mind."

"well, you know how i feel about a good saga."

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