31 December 2008
1 december: a revue
"nothing says 'I love you' like a reindeer with diarrhea."
"i can't imagine anything more hilarious than carrie bradshaw in st. louis."
"i am really rocking the area of the beautiful uselessnesses."
"i was thinking turkey sandwich meat and green beans and a glass of wine."
"that sounds so single."
"well, there's always pasta-roni."
"that sounds so single parent."
"i've been in love. but i've never been rich. i would like to try that."
"he was single and then he was in a relationship and here i can't even commit to 'it's complicated.'"
"do we get snow days in the corporate world?"
"it's right by the transients home on clark."
"there's a transients home on clark?"
"yeah, right by where that bakery where you and your parents got the bad service used to be."
"oh, i always wondered why the transients were always there."
"yeah, it's no wonder no business can thrive there. transients are not ideal for fine dining."
"we've never taken my daughter to church and the other day she asked 'who's jesus?' so i guess the time has come."
"meanwhile, i'm really pissed off because he just changed into long johns when i was waiting to tell him off."
"it was a real, grown-up party, where people introduced themselves and shook your hand before getting really really wasted."
"it is your responsibility as a girl to find unexplained delight in random, tiny things."
"all of the belgians are sluts. you don't learn how to make waffles like that unless you're a slut."
"it doesn't need an editor. it needs an exorcism."