12 August 2008

12 true colors


in her retirement, my mum (whom i love love love and am exploiting here because it's a slow writing week) clips coupons. and- because i live Close To The Edge- she sends the relevant ones to me. now, i'm new at this game. and maybe there aren't any games being played here. but there, nestled among the boca burgers and the cheerios and the zest zinger body bath bars, there was a shocker.

my mum hates my hair. she says i don't look like me. that i don't look sweet. i can only conclude this means the woman who bore my thinks i presently look like the devil's spawn.

this has been a bone of contention throughout my raven years. it's second only to the subject of why i ever thought living with that person i lived with was a good idea. in the pyramid of things that horrify my mother, there's shacking up and then there's black hair.

which is why this coupon makes no sense. is it the subtlest attack yet? or have my raven locks finally found approval? or, scariest of all, is she edging me onto a path that ends with a $2 savings on "dream blonde"?

12 comments:

Les Savy Ferd said...

blonds ARE dreamy. *sighs and gets that far away look in my eyes*

oline said...

you may want to be careful, pirate, since you're saying that to a crowd composed entirely of brunettes.

Les Savy Ferd said...

personally, knowing my croft the way i do, I think i am exempt from a beatdown seeing as in her formative years she actually DID think blonds were dreamy.

*cough leonardodicrapriojonathanbrandiszackmorris cough-cough*

Lara Ehrlich said...

Excuse me! Jonathan Brandis!? I NEVER loved Jonathan Brandis... who must you be thinking of?

oline said...

from whence comes this jonathan brandis hate? his family channel king wensenslas movie was semi-life-changing. not to mention his turn as a drug dealer in the kelly martin movie of the week that we watched in wellness class. much as the kirk cameron after school specials made me want to abstain from sex forever, so jonathan brandis kept youngoline drug-free.

Les Savy Ferd said...

methinks the lady doth protest too much! and to be honest, I only included that name because I could think of no other blondie hunks of the formative croftie year era. JTT? I'll leave now...

Unknown said...

so kirk cameron will becomes the focus of my white hot anger....grrrrrrr kirk cameron.

Meggie said...

Ok, I absolutely loved Jonathan Brandis. Part of me still hearts Jonathan Brandis.

However, am I the only one that picked up on all the grammatical errors in that blog? Dude, you are KILLING me!!!

oline said...

so maybe not forever, eF. maybe someday...

and, dear mrs. megan michie thompson, by the crass phrase "grammatical errors" i can only presume you mean "literary style."

Meggie said...

Dude... I'm referring to:

"i can only clonclude this means the woman who bore my thinks..."

Pshaw.

oline said...

honeypie, that's not a grammatical error. it's a typo. and yes, my phone died after the first ring. that's why i was the rudest person ever this afternoon.

Les Savy Ferd said...

a... a... typo?


Here?


by Oline?


/world does make sense anymore
//not being sarcastic
///that's so Raven