there is a 400 calorie snack bar on the cabinet by my desk.
no one will eat the 400 calorie snack bar because it has 400 calories.
thus, this has been my morning: oh! a snack bar! is it any good? 31 grams of sugar... that's a bit much, but it's got flax seed and... but oh... wait... 400 calories. i can't do 400 calories if it's just a snack bar.
SILENCE.
oh! a snack bar! 31 grams of sugar... that's a bit much, but it's got flax seed and... is it any good? but oh... wait... 400 calories...
SILENCE.
oh! look! a snack bar! is it any good? 31 grams of sugar but it's flax seed and... oh... wait... 400 calories. i can't do 400 calories.
i'm tempted to eat the thing just to stop the madness. but... y'know... it's 400 calories...
6 comments:
I think you should get everyone's attention and proceed to eat the snack bar. Do it while drinking a root-beer float and a milkshake. I think that it would make some women faint from what we down in the South term as "The Vapors!"
thanks to the pumpkin/pineapple/strawberry/banana smoothie and the friday ice cream lunch, i've had my sugars for the day.
but a coke float sure sounds good...
Live... from The South, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, set your heartbeat to a'flutter, its... The Vapors!
*much audience cheering*
*occasional non-bus related feminine squeal*
The Vapors come out on stage to face a frenzied crowd of several thousands.
*lady swoons after placing back of her hand gently on forehead*
*reverb from amp*
Meek but attractive practically dressed wholesome young man lead singer mumbles, "Hi everyone. So glad you could make it. We're the Vapors."
*Cheering goes up 300%*
*drummer counts off beat*
Vapors bust out in song and the place goes wild. Its electric I tell you, fever pitch.
Bass guitarist pretends to ignore everyone and everything around him, doesn't break sweat even though this is the Swamps of Louisiana and its a muggy 118 degrees.
Drummer makes eye contact with frocked maid in front row and winks fetchingly. Maid clasps hands under chin and bats lashes.
*spectacular Lead guitarist virtuosolo!*
"I love you The Vapors!" random audience member shouts.
and... scene.
louisianna, huh? i hear the alluvial regions of the hoosier state are quite similar.
(and yes, i said alluvial regions just because it sounds naughty.)
I'm following The Vapors on tour just like I did Phish in 1995.
Why didn't you just give it to Mama Berar. She's a living garbage disposal.
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