11 July 2008

6 the 400 calorie snack bar

there is a 400 calorie snack bar on the cabinet by my desk.

no one will eat the 400 calorie snack bar because it has 400 calories.

thus, this has been my morning: oh! a snack bar! is it any good? 31 grams of sugar... that's a bit much, but it's got flax seed and... but oh... wait... 400 calories. i can't do 400 calories if it's just a snack bar.

SILENCE.

oh! a snack bar! 31 grams of sugar... that's a bit much, but it's got flax seed and... is it any good? but oh... wait... 400 calories...

SILENCE.

oh! look! a snack bar! is it any good? 31 grams of sugar but it's flax seed and... oh... wait... 400 calories. i can't do 400 calories.

i'm tempted to eat the thing just to stop the madness. but... y'know... it's 400 calories...

6 comments:

Clark MF Price said...

I think you should get everyone's attention and proceed to eat the snack bar. Do it while drinking a root-beer float and a milkshake. I think that it would make some women faint from what we down in the South term as "The Vapors!"

oline said...

thanks to the pumpkin/pineapple/strawberry/banana smoothie and the friday ice cream lunch, i've had my sugars for the day.

but a coke float sure sounds good...

Les Savy Ferd said...

Live... from The South, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, set your heartbeat to a'flutter, its... The Vapors!

*much audience cheering*
*occasional non-bus related feminine squeal*

The Vapors come out on stage to face a frenzied crowd of several thousands.

*lady swoons after placing back of her hand gently on forehead*

*reverb from amp*

Meek but attractive practically dressed wholesome young man lead singer mumbles, "Hi everyone. So glad you could make it. We're the Vapors."

*Cheering goes up 300%*

*drummer counts off beat*

Vapors bust out in song and the place goes wild. Its electric I tell you, fever pitch.

Bass guitarist pretends to ignore everyone and everything around him, doesn't break sweat even though this is the Swamps of Louisiana and its a muggy 118 degrees.

Drummer makes eye contact with frocked maid in front row and winks fetchingly. Maid clasps hands under chin and bats lashes.

*spectacular Lead guitarist virtuosolo!*

"I love you The Vapors!" random audience member shouts.

and... scene.

oline said...

louisianna, huh? i hear the alluvial regions of the hoosier state are quite similar.

(and yes, i said alluvial regions just because it sounds naughty.)

Clark MF Price said...

I'm following The Vapors on tour just like I did Phish in 1995.

taramoon333 said...

Why didn't you just give it to Mama Berar. She's a living garbage disposal.