today it has officially been nine years since S told me. the first time.
nine years since he passed me a note- written on yellow foolscap in the infamous purple pen- in mrs. woods' 4th period silver day ap economics class.
nine years since we huddled at the corner table under an overactive air vent at the barnes & noble cafe on galleria boulevard in franklin, tennessee and he told me and i laughed.
nine years since i sat in the centennial high school multi-purpose room scribbling a draft (because i did drafts even then) of the sappiest note ever on the back of my copy of the hallelujah chorus as bobby lutrell warmed-up on the piano and glared at me because i wasn't turning his pages. later that evening, he wouldn't turn mine.
nine years since i stood in the middle of the bathroom at the shake 'n steak off highway 96 in a full-length black satin formal gown and above-the-elbow black satin gloves and told kj that S had "become one of the characters on dawson's creek," as kj looked back at me- her eyes wide as saucers- and asked, "is he jack???"
nine years. god, we're old.