30 January 2008

0 the male, german receptionist


we have a male, german receptionist.

this fact is astonishing for many, many reasons. i will list them.

1) he is male.
2) he is german.
3) he is a receptionist.

the male, german receptionist has been in our office for nearly 4 weeks. he's been speaking english for barely 9 1/2. this seems somehow terribly appropriate- that our outfit should be fronted by someone with the barest comprehension of rudimentary english.

if we're to be frank, the male, german receptionist is kind of unspeakably awesome. it used to be that the most exciting office-wide pages of the day, the pages we all looked forward to, came when our female, american receptionist (so cliche! so boring! so not unspeakably awesome! [though she has incredibly cute hair]) would use the wireless receiver and sounded as though she was speaking to us from the great beyond.

but in the era of the male, german receptionist, the excitingments are so much more. now, every single page is unspeakably awesome. because every page, every single one, sounds like arnold schwarzenegger teaching ESL.

No comments: