27 December 2007

5 december: a (premature) revue

in no particular order & uttered by various citizens of the Oline in the City world


"this is not a conversation we can have in a revolving door."

"comforting a male is a very hard thing."

"ah, nabakov... he's a master of putting two words together and making you not want to eat your breakfast."

"when you come home, we're going to need to talk about death."

"yeah, but your countdowns are weird."
"how dare you say that about my countdowns!!"
"well, it's true."
"i know. but i don't like people talking bad about my countdowns."

"the gilmore girls and breast milk. that's all you've been talking about."
"well, you missed the birthing seminar we had at lunch."

"she's in labor, but she's bored."

"hi. oh. hi. i'm sorry. i thought you were a gentleman. apparently you're not."

"don't worry. i wouldn't let you besmudge your own reputation."

"we can start at pleasure ridge and work our way to pleasure mountain."

"they use hawaiian bread... so the body of Christ tastes real good."

"i guess sex is allowed on a sunday, right?"

"'tis the season to be morbid..."

"same shit, different day."

"well... have a nice birth!"

"let's be honest with ourselves- can you really headband your way through a week of family get-togethers?"

"no more small offices for me-- especially not married ones."

"we're not a more the merrier kind of crew."

"so, just by me sending that email, the zit has boiled to a head?"

"well i'm glad there are people other than us willing to pick you up at airports."

"the more i think about being a professional housewife, the more i want to find a job."

"today is not a great day."

"i'm attracted to girls who are completely wrong for me. it's like 'um... you smell like a skank! i must have you now!'"

"he is quite fond of smooth black voices right now."

"you're wearing a thong to church?! is that allowed?"

"mary's having the baby removed on saturday."
"removed? it's not a tumor."
"well, it's the same principle."

"yeah, dan in real life is so not real life."

"he said you're the best person he's ever worked with. but then you've got to remember, he's old and senile, so he probably just doesn't remember all the others."

"he was 10 lbs when he was born. he looked three months old when he came out."

"i'm definitely not becoming a hippie. i do, however, love their vegetables and their fun breads. "

"did you want to get on the unit?"

"you might not want to come near me. i'm a cesspool of disease."

"i'll have caroline take care of it on monday... if she's still with us."

"i don't like what's between her legs but i sure like what's in her heart."

"wow. your life is really dawson's creek right now."

"i don't want to be mean and i don't want to be cruel. i just want to be sure he's emotionally devastated."

"i'm having some problems with my box and i need someone to come out and fix it."

"you're my first true love so far."

"fuck the candles in bags. i'm on my way."

5 comments:

Les Savy Ferd said...

december was very quotey. lot a good quotes in there. chock full of quotes. quotes on the walls, quotes on the floor, quotes in the air, quotes in pairs and quotes alone. Quote-a-palooza. Quoterati. Viva la Quota loca. Quart o quotes. Quo(te) you didn't! Quotastrophe. Quo(te) motion replay. Status quote. Quid Pro Quote. Don Quix-quotie. 3 quotes and 4 years ago our fathers...

oline said...

and this is dougo's brain on mountain dew...

Unknown said...

some of these are pure poetry

oline said...

"fuck the candles in bags"?

most romantic thing ever uttered.

Les Savy Ferd said...

that was actually just doug's brain on whatever it is that doug's brain runs on (puns, mysterious electrical charges, synaptic tomfoolery, PCP, the soul of that one guy I won in a poker game last year, Wild and Crazy Kids/Double Dare/You Can't Do That on Television re-runs, tiny serotonin fueled elves, and a pinch of miscellaneous 'unclassifiable' stuff the CIA has been trying to get their hands on for years)

If I had added Mt Dew to the mix, well, let's just say blog comments would be the least of all y'alls worries.