08 July 2007

3 rats & the city

i have a number of not so smart habits. one would be venturing out of the house without my contacts and in a pair of cheapie flip flops that occasionally come unflopped and flip about, exposing my bare feet to the evils of the street.

this happened most unfortunately the other day, and my unshod foot landed scarily close to a dead rat. i found solace in the fact that the rat appeared to have died from natural causes rather than the plague. nonetheless, this brush with deceased rodentry was deeply revolting, and i felt the need to keep the whole ugly episode hush hush.

i only confessed it to lindear. because i knew lindear would not betray me. wouldn't reveal that my glam, hip persona is a total sham and that i am, in fact, a moron dedicated to sight and shoe schemes that bring me in perilously close contact with rodent corpses.

admittedly, this should have taught me a lesson. namely, that i have moderately bad vision and require reasonably stable footwear when walking the back alleys of our fair city. but sometimes, lessons are hard to learn.

which brings us to today. when i set out contactless and in those flip flops. and- shock of all shocks- the flop came unflopped, my silly self stumbled and my stupid foot landed right on the periphery of a rodent death pact.

this was quite possibly the most disgusting thing ever. because they were rats. two rats. and the only thing more disgusting that one dead rat would be two. and this was my foot and it was perilously close to having made physical contact with these two disgusting dead rats. but there was this moment. this sick, grotesque, thoroughly repulsive moment by which i am, to some extent, still deeply disturbed.

a moment where it was just me and them and they were almost beautiful. the pair of them sprawled daintily on the slick asphalt amid the shards of a shattered heineken, the emerald glass sparkling in the light, casting shadows on their faces as they lay there together, their feet stretched in such a way that they appeared to have been clutching and then gently slipped from one another's grasp.

and in that sick, grotesque, thoroughly repulsive moment, i almost felt guilty for having disturbed their peace.


Unknown said...

First wood roaches and now rats. What will your feet get into next?

Les Savy Ferd said...

gross. By the way... rats are tough little buggers. I'm pretty sure they don't ever actually die of natural causes. As a person who dislikes rats and is fond of olines, be careful! Who knows what terrible power was unleashed to cause such vermin destruction.

oline said...

you see the forkcast, pirate? it's looking not the hottest day ever in the history of the earth. quite sure that won't last, but rather delightful all the same.