24 of my 26 years have been spent in the south. and yet, today, for the first time, a legitimate hick hit on me.
a class act in overalls, he stood next to me at a corner stoplight in the heart of my city.
he turned to me and he said this: hey, farm girl. wanna ride my plow?
24 comments:
That guy sounds super classy! Tell me you gave him your number! Did you at least invite him over for some raspberry cordial?
nope. he didn't ask if i wanted to make it a blockbuster night.
Caro, that is PRICELESS!!! And you know, while you spent a whole lot of time in Franklin, we were kinda low on the hicks unless you count our years at Page.
page was incredibly hicktastic. but what can you expect from a school situated between cow fields.
and i think this is my second favorite hit-up. #1, of course, being the random guy in memphis walking into my office, standing entirely too close, and whispering, "i'm really into anal.......... retentiveness."
hehe! That's fabulous. May even pull ahead of my favorite pick-up line of all time, used on our dear friend Emily. She was standing on the corner, dressed in style with a fancy coat and vintage brooch. A young man approached and said awkwardly, "May I a-brooch you?"
i don't know. that one was pretty awesome. especially seeing as she was wearing a broach at the time.
nobody liked my raspberry cordial remark. :(
it was so early that i just took the raspberry cordial remark for granted as a casual anne of green gables allusion without actually registering how odd it would be for you to be making casual anne of green gables allusions. was that indeed a casual anne of green gables allusion? and if so, bravo! croftie, my bosom friend, and i salute your marilla cuthbert knowledge.
Oh yes it was!
Caro, a lot of people seem to be very friendly with your bosom. Should I be worried?
dearest valentine, you were there when my bosom made its debut on the dinner table at junior prom. you know my bosom's a fickle slut.
can you hold a pencil under your boob? There was a girl in college who could do that. It still impresses me to this day!
Q1: Horizontally or Vertically?
Q2: How did you find this out?
Q3: Is she married?
horizontally, we were at a church retreat (of course), and yes.
sorry, clark price.
horizontally, we were at a church retreat (of course), and yes.
sorry, clark price.
duplicatda.
Weird.
Why do weird things like this always happen at stuff like a church retreat/lock-in or camp?
Maybe she used tape or glue. Otherwise it doesn't work in my head.
clearly, my endowment is not ample enough to accomplish that. but regardless, we'll now have to spend my next visit to the lindears attempting it.
has anyone ever been to a lock-in? i know it's supposed to be spiritual but the concentration campness of it always frightened me.
I went to a lock-in before and there was a strange girl. She kept trying to get me into compromising situations. I was told that there was a pool there and there wasn't. There were Pool tables though. Not a complete pool fabrication.
The highlight of the event was a scavenger hunt.
pray tell, what compromising situations are there at a lock-in?
and i feel kind of like my life is a series of compromising situations. but then, i guess that's better than a life of pool fabrications.
The pencil boob thing is actually the bra test. You put a pencil under your boob and if it falls out, then you don't need a bra. However, if it stays in place then you need a bra to lift and separate!!
Let's just say that the situations were very weird. If I say that they are weird, then indeed they are so.
i was afraid of that.
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