11 June 2007

24 hit man

24 of my 26 years have been spent in the south. and yet, today, for the first time, a legitimate hick hit on me.

a class act in overalls, he stood next to me at a corner stoplight in the heart of my city.

he turned to me and he said this: hey, farm girl. wanna ride my plow?

24 comments:

Clark Price said...

That guy sounds super classy! Tell me you gave him your number! Did you at least invite him over for some raspberry cordial?

oline said...

nope. he didn't ask if i wanted to make it a blockbuster night.

Meggie said...

Caro, that is PRICELESS!!! And you know, while you spent a whole lot of time in Franklin, we were kinda low on the hicks unless you count our years at Page.

oline said...

page was incredibly hicktastic. but what can you expect from a school situated between cow fields.

and i think this is my second favorite hit-up. #1, of course, being the random guy in memphis walking into my office, standing entirely too close, and whispering, "i'm really into anal.......... retentiveness."

Lara Ehrlich said...

hehe! That's fabulous. May even pull ahead of my favorite pick-up line of all time, used on our dear friend Emily. She was standing on the corner, dressed in style with a fancy coat and vintage brooch. A young man approached and said awkwardly, "May I a-brooch you?"

oline said...

i don't know. that one was pretty awesome. especially seeing as she was wearing a broach at the time.

Clark Price said...

nobody liked my raspberry cordial remark. :(

oline said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
oline said...

it was so early that i just took the raspberry cordial remark for granted as a casual anne of green gables allusion without actually registering how odd it would be for you to be making casual anne of green gables allusions. was that indeed a casual anne of green gables allusion? and if so, bravo! croftie, my bosom friend, and i salute your marilla cuthbert knowledge.

Clark Price said...

Oh yes it was!

Meggie said...

Caro, a lot of people seem to be very friendly with your bosom. Should I be worried?

oline said...

dearest valentine, you were there when my bosom made its debut on the dinner table at junior prom. you know my bosom's a fickle slut.

Linda said...

can you hold a pencil under your boob? There was a girl in college who could do that. It still impresses me to this day!

Clark Price said...

Q1: Horizontally or Vertically?
Q2: How did you find this out?
Q3: Is she married?

Linda said...

horizontally, we were at a church retreat (of course), and yes.

sorry, clark price.

Linda said...

horizontally, we were at a church retreat (of course), and yes.

sorry, clark price.

Linda said...

duplicatda.

Clark Price said...

Weird.
Why do weird things like this always happen at stuff like a church retreat/lock-in or camp?
Maybe she used tape or glue. Otherwise it doesn't work in my head.

oline said...

clearly, my endowment is not ample enough to accomplish that. but regardless, we'll now have to spend my next visit to the lindears attempting it.

has anyone ever been to a lock-in? i know it's supposed to be spiritual but the concentration campness of it always frightened me.

Clark Price said...

I went to a lock-in before and there was a strange girl. She kept trying to get me into compromising situations. I was told that there was a pool there and there wasn't. There were Pool tables though. Not a complete pool fabrication.
The highlight of the event was a scavenger hunt.

oline said...

pray tell, what compromising situations are there at a lock-in?

and i feel kind of like my life is a series of compromising situations. but then, i guess that's better than a life of pool fabrications.

Meggie said...

The pencil boob thing is actually the bra test. You put a pencil under your boob and if it falls out, then you don't need a bra. However, if it stays in place then you need a bra to lift and separate!!

Clark Price said...

Let's just say that the situations were very weird. If I say that they are weird, then indeed they are so.

oline said...

i was afraid of that.