23 June 2007

19 fault lines


like the whole entire rest of humanity, i have many many flaws. but the one i'm struggling with in this very minute is my capacity to take the most inconsequentially stupid teeny tiny thing and make it the absolute end of the world in my silly little head.

darling meggie's wedding is forthcoming. t-minus six days. and- aside from some residual paranoia that my as-yet-to-be-tried-on bridesmaid dress won't fit (a fear entirely too fearsome to actually begin to fear)- what has me completely panic stricken?

trip reading.

because oh my God what if in the midst of a 56-hour trip to see practically everyone i know i run out of things to read?!

it should be so simple. oh, to be one of those people for whom trip reading is a casual affair. a brief dalliance at an airport newsstand and a fling with the latest grisham. but no. i am so far from being one of those people that i probably couldn't even be friends with those people.

i am the girl who has spent the last 36 hours, sustained only by cheese sandwiches and diet coke, tearing through the 497 pages of tina brown's diana chronicles, for the sole, perfectly sane reason that this will then allow four weekdays in which to pull a quickie with a 250-page jackie bio so that the trip might finally bring about the end of an intermittent six-months-long emotional entanglement with the memoirs of le duc de saint-simon, volume 1.

as though this fact were of some great import to humanity. as though my ability to blaze through these three books and offer royal gossip, kennedy insight, and a derivative sliver of seventeenth century lavatorial humor in the midst of meggie's matrimony is going to have a life-changing impact.

maybe it's the the lack of substantive nutrition talking or perhaps its just the 36 hours of tina brown's stultifying prose, but i think i've maybe kind of sort of seen the light. clearly, a carry-on bag of books is the only way to go.

19 comments:

Meggie said...

Hah! I keep on trying to find books to read on the HONEYMOON! *laughs* The mere thought of something like an 11 hour plane ride calls for a large amount of reading material.

oline said...

yeah, going to europe for three weeks with only three books was one of the hardest things i've ever done. and even then, had to buy a sophie kinsella on the boat from dover just to make it through.

Linda said...

is sophie kinsella the shopaholic author? I have decided that she and I are no longer speaking.

Linda said...

is sophie kinsella the shopaholic author? I have decided that she and I are no longer speaking.

Linda said...

duplicates are fun.

oline said...

duplicates are SO fun. it's like you carbon copied your comment. but yes, sophie kinsella is shopaholic. she and i aren't exactly speaking anymore either. not since shopaholic got a kid sister. that was way too barbie and skipper for me.

Linda said...

I just hated her for having no backbone or willpower when it came to, well, anything! Grow a pair, woman! you can live without a damn scarf!

Linda said...

and "her" is the character.. not sophie herself.. although I have a feeling the character may be a version of Sophie.

oline said...

i think she (sophie) is to blame for the trend of unlikeable protaganists in our beloved feminine litrachoore. because she (the character) is extremely grating. i don't know how we all managed to read three books about such an annoying personage- especially given there were no illegitimate children or miscarriages or torrid affairs to egg us one.

Linda said...

ah, you speak too soon. remember, there was one ALMOST illegitimate child birthed by the roommate and the roommate's sort-of cousin with the same last name.

oline said...

REALLY?! don't remember that at all. i suppose that's mildly redeeming. as long as there's an illegitimate child somewhere then it's bona fide feminine litrachoore.

Meggie said...

Ok, as the owner of all the Shopaholic books (there are now 5). The roommate married her very-real cousin and had 3 babies with him.

Linda said...

did the megster make it through all five?! props to you. I would have puked my heart out by now.

oline said...

wait a minute. the roommate married her own cousin? there was incest in shopaholic?!

and, yes. what a mighty stout constitution you have, meggie. i too would have puked my heart out long ago.

Meggie said...

Hey, they are kinda funny. Plus, I am a shopaholic. So it works. And the roommate married her cousin in book 3ish and moved to the country. Now Becky (the shopaholic) has a baby of her own.

oline said...

for real though- the roommate married her own cousin? not becky's cousin but her own? for some reason i can't get over this revelation. it almost makes me want to read them all over again.

Meggie said...

Ok, once again... *glares at Caro*

1. The roommate's name is Suze. Her cousin is Tarquin. They are like 2nd or 3rd cousins (I lived in KY for 5 years where this was actually an ok explanation)

2. Suze married Tarquin. They had the same last name. She did not have to change her monogram.

3. Suze and Tarquin got it on and had 3 kids. I believe the majority of this happens in Shopaholic and Sister

oline said...

ah yes. i remember tarquin. how could anyone ever forget such a name?

and don't you be glaring at me. just because you're the bride doesn't mean you get to glare!

Meggie said...

I get to glare! I'm dealing with crazy future mother-in-law who hates me, a bridesmaid who is driving me nuts, and just general insanity. May the glaring always happen!