02 June 2007

17 and lo! we reuned.

our graduate school experience was very unique. or at least that's what we MAPHers tell ourselves. for nine months, we ran ammuck, dabbling through all the "humanities"- whatever the hell those really are. most graduate programs have 10 people. there were 100 MAPHers. there was The Core. there was always an open bar.

on friday night, the crofts and i ventured out into the pouring rain to the MAPH tenth anniversary reunion. we were soaked and we were none to thrilled. as we climbed the steps, croftie whispered, "i don't want to do this." "do what?" i asked. "what we're doing right now."

but did it we did. and thank God.

because had we not, i would never have balanced precariously atop tortoiseshell heels in the middle of the tasting room in a wet pink silk dress and had a most enlightening conversation with sensei.

nothing compares to the university of chicago alumni magazine. it's like an AARP mag edited by louis menand. i had mistakenly believed the highlight of the may/june issue to be the supplemental publication devoted to the "living legacy" of The Core curriculum- a legacy typified by the cover girls, who sit among the stacks of the reg staring at computer screens with what can only be described as expressions of utter oppression and apathetic doom.

i laughed and thought, that's a fan-freaking-tastic summation of u of c life, and went on with my day, not even bothering to check out the actual alumni magazine, CHICAGO, the cover of which was dominated by an unappealing ed asner clone hunched awkwardly over a hanging file. blithely i tossed it into the pile of tabloids and time outs.

because of this, i very nearly missed the tiny wonder that lay between pages 8 and 9. the tiny wonder that sensei- interior decorator of the mind extraordinaire- pointed out as i balanced precariously atop tortoiseshell heels in the middle of the tasting room in a wet pink silk dress. what tiny wonder, you may ask?

the temporary university of chicago alumni tattoo.

17 comments:

Osutein said...

I'm glad I was able to bring such wonder into your life. The U of C alumni magazine is truly wonderful. Where can you find (in a single issue) a mini-magazine dedicated to, and named after, a cirriculum? a temporary tattoo that looks like the insignia of an Austro-Hungarian army unit? letters to the editor thoughtfully debating neoliberal economics AND bitching about the results of a haiku contest? and all of this between slapped behind a cover featuring (good call) an "ed asner clone" leering at you like a man trying to lure children into a van with candy.

oline said...

OMG. how did i miss the haiku contest?! this issue is just the gift that keeps giving.

and seriously- what is with that bird? i will allow that there are some mentally unbalanced individuals who may find animals of the avian persuasion attractive, but who in their right or wrong mind would want to wander about with a strangled crow on their arm?

Osutein said...

Yeah, there was a contest to see who could write the best haiku about U of C. Apparently most of them involved the words "gray" and "gothic" and "towers" which seems to fit in with most people's image of U of C being a whimsy-free, ulta-pretentious version of Hogwarts.

I think the bird is supposed to be the phoenix on the school crest. But I think "strangled crow" is a much more accurate description,

oline said...

i think that thing makes it quite clear that the u of c is a school of engineering students and english-heads- not artists.

and i honestly think we need to start reviewing the alumni mag on JBB. this is just too astounding not to share with the world-at-large- or at least our little corner of it.

Les Savy Ferd said...

"I will allow that there are some mentally unbalanced individuals who may find animals of the avian persuasion attractive.."

*Starts huffing and puffing in an insulted, aristocratic manner ranging from the low-pitched growly 'well-I-never' to the squeaky falsettoed 'I-do-declare!'"*

oline said...

i find it fascinating, pirate, that you no longer leave actual comments. just *comments*.

Clark MF Price said...

You know that a Phoenix will always come back. The Phoenix is your arch-nemesis, by my decree!

Les Savy Ferd said...

That is genius. gee-knee-us. of COURSE the phoenix is Oline's arch-nemesis. Its like this foggy spot in my brain just got de-fogged. You suddenly make a little more sense. And by that i mean that most people make little or no sense to me. now you make slightly more.

how's that for a comment that isn't an action buried inside of an asterix patch?

oline said...

damn birds.

"an action buried inside of an asterix patch"?!

somehow that describes my whole entire today with incandescent perfection. gee-knee-us.

Les Savy Ferd said...

birds are glorious, not damned. They are like angels, er, minus the people bodies and halos. When I die I'm coming back in my next life as a duck.

oline said...

ducks are not damn birds. ducks have flippers and dully billed beaks. they are of the pond. it's the spazzy, worm footed, sharp eye poking outy beakedness of birds that is so damning.

did i ever mention that i had to dissect a pregnant chicken? that may have something to do with it.

Les Savy Ferd said...

you know, most highschools have you dissect grasshoppers and froggies. at the very most a fetal pig. your highschool was on meth. um, you did dissect the chicken for highschool, didn't you? Don't make me acquire a case of the heebie-jeebies. I spent all last week getting rid of them.

oline said...

yes. clearly the pregnant chicken dissection was purely for personal pleasure. but, no. it was actually for a summer seminar at cornell, where i also stuck my hand up a cow's stomach and held a goat liver in my ungloved hands (which've never quite felt clean since). mercifully, i missed the fetal pig. high school was limited to crayfish, a frog (major scare as i leaned in staring at his intestinal tract and he came unpinned and smacked me in the face), and a cat. oh the things you'll do when you think you want to be a vet.

Meggie said...

Caro, we did the fetal pig in high school. Amy, Evie, Heena, and I dissected it together. It was Bio I Honors. The cat was A&P.

On the other note, have you ever been around angry ducks?? Those things are worse than those birds you speak of!

oline said...

meggie honey, i was in a&p. i did the cat. his name was smucker. the fetal pig had to be way grosser.

see i think ducks and i think the peabody ducks and their little orderly parade. i refuse to believe that there could ever be dissension in the duck ranks.

Meggie said...

I'll take you to Centennial Park and not allow you to take bread. Those ducks know that they deserve bread and there is mutiny if there is no bread!

And on the dissection rotue: I'm so confused. You dissected the pig, right? Or were you absent that day? 'Cause I know you took Bio.

oline said...

think i took regular biology. or at least a biology without a fetal pig. so yes, no fetal pig.