08 April 2007

4 up from the grave he arose! back in the grave he goes.

2007 is The Year That Everything Electronic & Remotely Associated With La Maison De Oh!'lighn Died.

after the lappy hard-drive demise, the microwave began making sounds eerily reminiscent of my mum's homemade ice cream machine, which was a cross between nails on a chalkboard and the world's loudest hair dryer, and which never failed to force father cupcake and i from the house. to us, no dairy product was worth such clamor. since the microwave was making this cacophony and yielding no iced confectionery, i was emotionally prepared for its death.

so i was caught entirely unprepared one late night when the upod up and died smack dab in the rollicking middle of "kings of the wild frontier." it wouldn't play, it wouldn't turn off, it wouldn't mute, it wouldn't do anything but stare back at me in frustrating unresponsiveness. in the morning it was dead.

with some curses over the unexpected expense, i promptly ordered the new upod- a sexier, sleeker, dainty lad who seemed at infinitely greater risk for falling victim to my electronic vicissitudes. but the options were limited since things have to be u2y and the upod had up and died.

because the upod had up and died. his battery wore down and he shut off and wouldn't turn on no matter how many times i obsessive compulsively pushed all his buttons to verify that this unfolding tragedy wasn't a figment of my rather overactive imagination. but it was hopeless. he was gone. i swear. he died.

and yet...

finally ready to lay the upod to rest, i picked him up from the stack of magazines where he'd been lying in state for some while. and lo! he jumped to life. his little battery whirred back into action and his face lit up.

unfortunately, this sudden resurrection so startled me that i promptly threw him to the floor, where he hit the vieve, who was so unnerved by this burst of life from an electronic we had long presumed dead that she jumped four feet in the air, knocking over a glass of milk and baptizing the upod, whom we haven't heard from since.

4 comments:

Les Savy Ferd said...

i'm confused... so a milk-bath won't raise the electronic dead?

oline said...

yeah, milk-bath+electronics= good in theory. baaaaaaad in execution.

Les Savy Ferd said...

execution = heads on pikes

oline said...

heads-on-pikes = SoSlo's electoral process