25 February 2007
today, bombsy dropped a bombshell. as we cooed over the vieve, discussing her odd physique, bombsy said: i think maybe she's had kittens. for a moment, i stood aghast at the prospect of feline immaculate conception before realizing bombsy was referring to a time in the vieve's distant past.
the vieve's distant past is a hazy, ambiguous thing. she fell into my family from the vet's office with the same generic she's two to three years old and came from a very loving home that could no longer keep her story as the last cat that fell into my family from the vet's office.
because her haughtiness had to come from somewhere, i always pictured the vieve's distant past as very posh. i imagined her living with an ian mckellan type who wore three piece suits and loafers. due to some horrid reversal of fortune, he could no longer afford the vieve's whiskas and was forced to surrender her from his very loving home.
somehow it never occurred to me that the vieve's distant past might be a dark and sinister thing involving random copulation and infant abandonment. that she might be (gasp! horror!) somebody's baby mama. overnight, my beloved vieve has been revealed as a deadbeat mother. oh the shame.
the beloved vieve seems completely unaffected by these scandalous revelations. if anything, she has been liberated from the secrecy and lies and is living it up as an emancipated woman- lazing about in the unmade bed with her legs akimbo, hitting the catnip with renewed vigor and dance partying with shocking abandon. so this is how lynne spears feels...