07 February 2007

20 love (but not that fear)

my parents don't read this. so sometimes when i wrestle deep thoughts or chronicle total ridiculousnesses they'll appreciate, posts are passed along via email.

awhile ago, i sent L(NF). a deafening silence ensued. until last night, when father cupcake chuckled, we got your email.

but the mumcake tells this story better. . .

the mumcake said she and father cupcake crowded round the computer. they read L(NF). a deafening silence ensued. then, father cupcake turned to her and asked, did our daughter just become a lesbian?

20 comments:

Clark MF Price said...

Did that make him rethink his calendar decision? Or maybe realize how close he was? Either way, its way too funny. At least you didn't get the talk in the car coming home from school like I did. My mother turned to me and asked me, "Are you gay?" I replied with a resounding "NO!!!? where did this come from?" She then retorted with "Are you on drugs then....cause so help me God!!" to which I said "NO!!?? What is this about?" Finally, she said "Then why are you so damn weird? Are you going schizo on me?" "God I hope not...I don't know." was all I could mutter.
At least you didn't have epitome of awkwardness that was a conversation.

Clark MF Price said...

forgot a "that"....Slut Bucket!

oline said...

somehow, i just knew that you would take to slut bucket like pb on j.

am quite sure my forthcoming father cupcake valentine may be affected by this whole affair. fortunately i was spared witnessing the brief moment in which he grappled with the thought that i might be gay. what a fun car-ride that must've been for the both of you.

Les Savy Ferd said...

Congrats. didn't know you came out. had a few gay man acquaintances in my day (architecture school was chock full of Brantley-esque enthusiasm... as most art disciplines are want to be) but you'll be the first gay friend of the feminine persuasion. how very strong of you to encode your coming out to the world in a mathematical equation "L(NF)". i don't know if anyone in the history of homosexuality has ever done it that way before. and so encrypted. almost like it wasn't a coming out post. in any way. at all.

oline said...

it so wasn't a coming out post in any way at all that it took my father to tell me i had come out. and i'm pretty sure you have to come out rather more deliberately. that's not really something you can do unawares. nevertheless, i feel honored to have come out unawares in a way in which no one in the history of homosexuality has ever come out before. how heterosexual.

Linda said...

you are a lesbian. That is so hot.

oline said...

if i were, your pats on the bottom would be to blame.

Linda said...

:winks:

Les Savy Ferd said...

i believe its spelled: hawt.

Les Savy Ferd said...

the correct sentence would be:

omg ur a lesbian? that is so hawt!

oline said...

because phonics is the only surefire way to win a sapphic heart.

Les Savy Ferd said...

don't you gussy up your blog-comment-strand with them fancy big words, missy!

oline said...

don't you be fussing with my diction, pirate!

Bombsy said...

OMG! were they serious????

oline said...

for about half a second. by the time the father cupcake told me, he knew how hysterical it sounded. it was something about the implied holding of hands as we walked down the street. clearly, they've forgotten that i've had a friend named partner for 15 years.

Clark MF Price said...

At least you would be the eye candy one, the so-called "Lipstick Lesbian." Much better than the butch one.

oline said...

can i be the stiletto sapphic? as a non-wearer of lipstick, i'd hate to put up a false front. that is, if this weren't all false and i had, indeed, jumped the rainbow.

Les Savy Ferd said...

saddle up your pny, Oline!

oline said...

did you just abbrev the word pony, pirate? or were you referring to the national bird of SoSlo- the pny (puh-nee)?

Les Savy Ferd said...

named for its melancholy song, ahem:

puh-NEE NEE NEE, puh nuh NEE NEE NEE!