02 January 2007

15 trash book

my dorky english-head resolution? to read all the 500+ page books i've had forever and haven't read. so the unexpurgated beaton here i come. but first, a little jaunt in big, fat noveland.

i don't know where i first heard of kathleen winsor's forever amber (996 pgs). but i knew it was a huge deal in its day and somewhere along the line i acquired it. i flew through the first 300 pages, thoroughly enjoying myself but not really examining what i was reading. until the LG made the simple inquiry, how's the trash book? at which point i took a moment to pause and reflect. and i realized, this is where we are:

to begin with, our heroine, the intrepid amber st. clare, fell madly in love with an unattainable, deceptively wealthy townie who bought her a pair of deceptively expensive-looking cheapie earrings at the country fair, seduced her in the churchyard and succumbed to her pleadings, allowing her to return with him to london where- he made it perfectly clear- he would not marry her and where she would undoubtedly be ruined. she returned with him to london. he would not marry her. she was ruined.

in some way- though we know not yet how- our heroine's fate is intertwined with the story of charles II and his mistress, the future lady castlemaine- who is currently pregnant with a child that could belong to one of three men, none of whom are her husband. in their most recent appearance, charles II presided over the future lady castlemaine's dinner party and subsequently refused her bedside entreaties that he marry her. he has just cast our heroine a knowing smile as his entourage passed her in a parade.

our heroine has presently escaped from debtor's prison, where she was sent after the man she'd been tricked into marrying- after the man she'd been tricked into having sex with left her- stole her money and bequeathed her his debt. she has taken a much-needed bath, had her bastard baby and is now running with a highwayman named black jack, who has a shady affiliation with a reformed madam who runs the pawnshop above which he lives and who has just hired our heroine to do some sort of as yet to be revealed dirty work that involves her being outfitted in new, ritzy negligee.

so how's the trash book? i'm all blushes.

15 comments:

nick said...

good lord. i need a shower.

oline said...

the curious thing is it doesn't read like trash. it seems entirely plausible until you put it down and stop and think. at which point it sounds absolutely crazy.

Linda said...

smutoline.

oline said...

and to think i made fun of your maiden voyage and oral reading.

Les Savy Ferd said...

*loosens neck-tie to let out steam*

Bombsy said...

What do you expect from a lady who's loopy blue name barely covers her exposed nipple?

Linda said...

que??

oline said...

bombsy was referring to kathleen winsor- not you, lindear! i have no doubt your loopy blue name would afford much more complete coverage.

oline said...

and how fascinating that the boys have immediately begun to undress.

Linda said...

actually thought bombsy was talking about you and was wondering what fabulous story I was missing!

but now that you say that, how in the world did I miss the almost-nipple?

oline said...

how in the world did i miss the almost-nipple?! profounda.

though i've had many a wardrobe malfunction in the past, there've been none of late. and rest assured, you always get first-run of the fabulous stories.

Meggie said...

I always have boob issues in strapless dresses. Those suckers never want to stay in.

Linda said...

actually, had figured there was a exhibitionistoline inside story amongst the chicago ladies. I guess I'm glad to know there isn't. But perhaps a little disappointed, tee hee.

oline said...

i'm sorry to disappoint, but there really has been nothing of note since the notorious MAPH Cruise Red Bra Incident of may 2004. that was rather sobering. but i hereby vow, when the lindears have a kiddear, i'll gladly assume the role of trollopy "aunt"- and come round in stilletos and slutty skirts and the aforementioned Red Bra, just to add some smart-assed spice to the afeared/unafeared (we know not which yet) kiddear's life. deal?

Linda said...

deal! yay trollopy aunt for the kiddears! The family will be complete.