17 January 2007

12 boxen

if it should ever come to pass that the personal cameraman is an integral element in modern life, i will undoubtedly have the best blooper reel in all the world.

you may not have noticed, but i'm moving.

dougie and the croftO have patiently been my book box bearers, but today i found myself in need of some big boxes. truly big boxes. so i paraded my little self down to walgreen's, which has this very random We'll Meet All Your Moving Needs section on the end of the dental hygiene aisle.

walgreen's met my moving needs with six truly big boxes- because when something's enormous, why not buy in bulk?- and the checkout woman bundled them in a pair of truly big bags that seemed like a good idea at the time and sent me on my merry way.

unfortunately, the truly big bags created a parachute effect so that holding onto the truly big boxes was much like trying to ground a saranwrap-covered cardboard balloon. a whole series of stupidities ensued during the four block walk home.

the pièce de résistance? when, wholly at the mercy of the truly big bagged truly big boxes in which my scarf had become unfortunately tangled, i was whipped in a circle and thrown smack into the front window of urban outfitters.

it's impossible to adequately describe the many vivid expressions of horror that flashed across the face of the hipster kid who looked up and saw me, wide-eyed, plastered to the window by a pile of truly big boxes. but the horror quickly vanished as he heaved a disaffected sigh and returned to lazily folding scarves.

i scraped myself from the window, gathered my dignity, reigned in the truly big boxes, and rode a gust all the way home.

12 comments:

Linda said...

Truly the scarf it the cause of all things evil: your face plant into the booby shirt store, the hipster kid's laziness, and countless elevator door injuries.

oline said...

all i can think now is "let's fold scarves!" from romy & michelle which, of course, leads to "oooooooh ramone," which, of course, leads to "i cut my foot earlier and now my shoe is filling with blood" and on and on and on...

oline said...

and tee hee. you said "booby."

(yes, folks. i am an eight-year-old boy.)

Linda said...

No, no, you're not. Because I giggled to myself after my original post and was going to do a follow up "tee hee. booby" but then decided against. but I think I will say it now.

Tee hee. Booby!

Bombsy said...

there's a certain raunchy and poetic justice of being smashed against the glass of the booby shirt store.
anyone remember ice tea's "put 'em on the glass"? yeah, me neither really. but i do remember seeing the music short of it and wondering with horror why ice tea thought those enormous bespangled tawny boobies looked good smashed against his windsheild.

oline said...

"a raunchy and poetic justice"- couldn't have said it better.

Les Savy Ferd said...

tee hee, boobies.

Linda said...

I'm trying to think of some clever phrase that involves me saying "tit for tat", but I've got nothing.

oline said...

i think you just titted for tat, pirate.

and, lindear darling, i blame you that "tee hee, boobies" is the new catch phrase.

Clark MF Price said...

I always think of the word being spelled as "Boobie" mainly because they come in pairs. So it should be ready for the plural transition with just the addition of the "s" instead of the respelling.

Meggie said...

I think it's always been an -ie word to me also...

Caro, you want to come help with my move? We're looking at May-ish but might be sooner depending on when the condo sells.

oline said...

sorry, megs. you're on your own.