19 December 2006
29 turn on the bright lights
there are certain perils that one encounters as a wearer of eyeliner. aside from the aforementioned prejudice, the principle conundrum is the sheer inability of making one's eyeliner stay put. it wants to migrate and play the field. to fool around with the chin or party with the nose or have a forehead one night stand. eyeliner is très JFK.
the catch-22 is that the simple wearing of eyeliner can make one look 37% less haggard- a figure overwhelmingly in its favor. but a figure rendered less glorious by the fact that eyeliner gone awry can make one look 42% more crazed. it's a risky fine line.
today, i did a series of bold, not so smart things. i put on eyeliner in the dark. i did not turn on the lights to check the stay-puttingness of said eyeliner that had been applied in the dark. and then i went out in public.
it was a freaking awesome hair day and the sun was shining in such a shiney way that i almost believed i had somehow awoken into a shampoo commercial.
happily, i skipped to the marché to post a certain christmas present to a certain someone. happily, i conducted an entire business transaction, tossing my glossy raven locks so that everyone else in the line could appreciate their uncommon luster.
it was with less happiness that, at the completion of our business transaction, i received a gentle pat on the hand from miss marché postal worker, who said in a tone hushed with concern, honey, what's all that dirt there under your eyes?