10 December 2006

26 thou shalt find the winter's rage freeze thy blood less coldly


today i walked behind this woman. she was wearing a plaid scarf, a jaunty hat with a feather, and bursting with christmas cheer.

i thought: there's a caroler.

in an era where people drive their trick-or-treating kids to the nice neighborhoods, caroling seems kind of passe. rather like being in a madrigal guild or playing the lute.

as a result, only the hardcore devotees carol. and, let's face it, it's the hardcore devotees who are often the most frightful. they're so earnest it hurts to watch.

this woman wasn't frightful and she wasn't actually caroling. she was just going down the street. but the scarf, the hat, the skipping walk. it all screamed caroler.

i felt bad, though, for being judgemental. i thought, maybe she isn't a caroler. she looks very nice and happy. maybe she's someone who just has a very caroly sense of fashion. i am a horrible, rotten person because i've stereotyped this perfectly lovely looking woman as a caroler simply because she thought a yankee doodle dandy hat was a good idea.

just then a group of similarly scarved and hatted, freakishly enthusiastic people lept out of nowhere from around a corner, beamed at this woman, and immediately burst into a rousing chorus of "good king wenseslas."

i exclaimed, shit! and immediately fled from the frightful caroling freaks.

26 comments:

nick said...

also... aren't they starting a bit early? carolers don't usually get going until like a week before Christmas.

oline said...

not that i can cast cantalopes at people who engage in premature revelry, but these carolers were REALLY into it. can only imagine how frightful they'll be come the 24th.

nick said...

lovely that for you my birthday will be marred by terrifying chicagoans caroling with a scarifying intensity.

oline said...

oh i'll be alright. i'll be in MEM anyway, so the day of your birth is not marred.

Meggie said...

Caro, I used to be one of those crazy carolers!!! And I sang with GUSTO! Now I just do it in the privacy of my car.

Oh, check out Myspace for the one pic... Sorry to disappoint. Mike's excited to meet you though.

oline said...

ooooh, baby! yay for A-cleavage. did the boy swoon?

and if the boy didn't want to meet your valentine, that would be a dealbreaker, right?

i was supposed to call you back. oops!

Meggie said...

I'm trying to figure out where that cleavage came from!!!! Boobs just popped out of nowhere. Too bad that didn't stay around to play. *L*

If the boy didn't want to meet my Soulmate, it would be a dealbreaker.

oline said...

sometimes cleavage just appears out of nowhere and unbidden. and then it goes away.

Meggie said...

Stupid cleavage needs to stay.

Oh well, it just means that when I get old and they sag, they don't have far to go!!!

Bombsy said...

um....we have caroling freaks loose in our 'hood?
omg.

oline said...

by the weiner's circle. i swear, all kinds of stupid shit goes down by the weiner's circle!

Les Savy Ferd said...

i won't have you badmouthing the good people of the Weiner's Circle. Those sassy ladies work very hard for that ridiculous lot of carolers and celebrity-mistaking-stalking autograph hounds! For shame.

Bombsy said...

they also pull up thier shirts for $20 when someone orders a milkshake.

oline said...

you tell him, bombsy. a big boo to the weiner's circle!

Les Savy Ferd said...

Well, i wasn't exactly defending their honour, just that as far as jobs go...

besides, fighting the combined power of Bombshell^2 would be folly.

Bombsy said...

carebear stare!

oline said...

that was a nickname i always wished had stuck. the parents occasionally called me "carrie bear" but "liney" and "stewball" were much more popular. and really, who wants to be anyone's "stewball"?

Les Savy Ferd said...

*raises hand tentatively, looks around and sees nobody else is, lowers hand slowly, hoping nobody will notice*

oline said...

um... are you sure, stewballO? because once you're someone's stewball, there's no going back. like being jolly, it is a lifestyle. so if you really didn't want us to notice the tentative raising of that e-hand, we'll avert our e-eyes.

Les Savy Ferd said...

the CosbO does not appreicate your antics, 'line. nothing but sweaters for you for x-mas, big, frumpy, shapeless, motely colored sweaters.

oline said...

nooooooooo. not a COSBY sweater!

my stupid youthful exuberance. it gets me in trouble every single time.

Les Savy Ferd said...

is it somewhat bad that i watched Mean Girls last evening and sorta liked it? And not once was lohan referred to as "fire crotch."

oline said...

well then, there's no fun in that.

i think it was a very wise career move for me to model myself after nicole richie (famous for her bangs and drunk driving) and ashlee simpsO (lip synching and rhinoplasty) rather than la lohan (fire crotch).

Les Savy Ferd said...

well, to her credit she did seem fairly wholesome and un-skeazy.

Meggie said...

Um, $20 to raise your shirt??? Man, I could have made a killing in college. I always did it for free!!! *grumbles*

oline said...

i don't know how we've been friends for so long and yet it only recentishly came out that you were a serial flasher in college.