13 September 2006

14 tug of war

the vieve recently discovered some dark, cozy, under-the-bed place. for a week, she disappeared there. only to resurface occasionally, eat very loudly, make revolting cat mouth noises, and then scurry back. the path to this dark, cozy, under-the-bed place involved squeezing through the 1.5" crack between the wall and the sofa. while watching the vieve disappear into this abyss was always sad, seeing her emerge was far worse since she came head first, ears pinned back like an extreme makeover victim.

the extraction of the vieve from the box springs of a hotel bed still haunts me. i don't think we could be that lucky twice. i think next time she would just have to live there. so the other day i pushed the red stool in front of the entrance to the crevasse as a deterrent. the red stool has wheels but the vieve didn't figure that out. i felt victorious and cheered and crowned myself the queen of well-thought-out obstructions. for a brief glimmer of a moment, peace reigned. until last night.

last night, the vieve threw the dance party to end all dance parties. everyone came. old friends, new friends, long-lost friends. even a tube of moisturizer and a telephone bill. the vieve partied hard. she partied all over the place. the more i cursed her and threw things, the harder she partied. frightful quantities of cat nip were imbibed and the festivities rolled on until 5.02 a.m. when, exhausted and giddily intoxicated, the vieve came diving across the sheets to throw up on my leg. though none too happy, i held her whiskers back from her face until it was over, then put her to bed. this morning, recovered from the revelry, she discovered the stool has wheels.

14 comments:

nick said...

the only thing worse than a cat throwing up on you in the middle of the night, is this. having them do so on the floor next to your bed in the middle of the night, and waking up in the morning to slide out of bed and but your foot right into it. ugh... that being said, having the vieve boot on your leg at 5AM - good of you to take that in stride & hold her whiskers back.

Meggie said...

Having personally experienced the Vieve's late night dance parties (man, can that cat boogie) and her throw up (in my bed, Nick!), I applaud you Caro. That's true love right there.

oline said...

oh no. had forgotten about that. and how we were ghetto and just pushed it in the crevice of the couch and pretended like it wasn't there?! i'm so sorry, meggie! that's really horrible! promise that isn't the way guests are usually treated at le petit maison de oh!-'lighn. did that tabloids at least make up for it? remember the tabloids. you loved the tabloids. oh the tabloids

Les Savy Ferd said...

suddenly the ability to sequester two obnoxious cats in the wee hours of the morn behind not one but two doors and a breadth of hallway doesn't seem like such a drag. Well not until said cats decide to file their nails on the underside of door 'A' which despite all that distance creates a sound similar to the one Lucifer's Pit-Spawn would make tunneling up under your floor-boards in the middle of the night which is a sound one does not wish to be awakened by, particularly if one has already been up all night listening to "Cat Night At the Races" which is more or less Pik and Barry running so fast (SO FURIOUS) down the aforementioned hallway that they cannot turn the corner properly and collide into the wall. This stuns the first cat who is immediately sanwiched from behind by the rocketing second cat who bounces off the first in just enough time to start the whole thing over again in the opposite direction. oy vey.

oline said...

the vieve of the dance sends her most exhuberant regards to the old towne partners in kitty crime.

Les Savy Ferd said...

your decision to place the antiquated 'e' at the end of 'town' instead of the much more popular old smacks of book larnin'. Ya'll read books?

oline said...

i'm going to blame that on memphis, which has this holiday shopping extravaganza every october that's publicized across the city on obnoxious billboards and is stupidly named "subsidium's carrousel of shoppes." the scads of press releases i have received for the carrousel of shoppes, combined with the current reading of le morte d'arthur means i'll probably be senseless-lettersoline for some time to come. but yeah, it does smack of some larnin'.

nick said...

i once saw a strip mall called olde towne shoppe centre in florida. i laughed a lot. that is more like people that did a bit of larnin' and wanted to show off.

oline said...

for the record (and we're righting the record almost as much as we're buying the by), "larnin'" is a thoroughly disgusting bit of vernacular, mister dread pirate. it's no "poohberty," but it's mighty gross.

Meggie said...

We were kinda ghetto in the shoving the cat ickiness in the crevice of the couch. But all is forgiven, my dear. The tabloids more than made up for it. BTW, what do you think of Britney's new baby? And the pictures of the Tomkitten? Freaky amount of hair on that child.

oline said...

my favorite thing about britney's baby is that this week's star arrived proclaiming how excited she was to have had a girl. and the tomkitten is a gorgeous child. a gorgeous, 5-year-old, asian child.

oline said...

clark BB- if you're out there, you were right. the emperor's new clothes was lovely.

Meggie said...

Yet more proof that the child is not Tom and Katie's!!! Oh, and also that Tom Cruise is CRAZY!

Caro, I miss H&M... I miss you but I also miss H&M. And Urban Outfitters... And Anthropologie... *sighs*

oline said...

hmmm. sounds like you're missing the shoppes more than me, miss meggie eggie. regardless, the (cleaned) red couch is always accepting reservations, my love.