faux2. if you've had anything to do with me during the past seven months, most likely you were aware of this article at some point. this is the article that was proposed in may. the article for which the bombshell and i went to see faux2 in june. the article for which i interviewed faux bono in july and gredge in august.
this is the article that was to be submited in mid-september. the article that, for four months, was evoked every single time anything vaguely relating to writing came up. oh no. i couldn't write that. i'm writing this faux2 article.
this is the standard profile that i supposedly slaved over thoughout the fall. when, in reality, i didn't even read faux edge's interview responses until october. this is the article that was submitted in a stupidly rough draft because i was so pissed at the thing that i had to send it away. i had to solicit help. i could not go on.
this is the article that returned on november 1st with a bevy of beautiful comment balloons. for weeks, i glared at the icon that sat on my desktop. i couldn't bring myself to actually open it until december 16th.
there was a genuine fear that the article would never finish. that i would go to my grave clutching my faux bono interview notes. and for a scary second, death almost seemed a luxurious alternative to further faux2 exertions. the angels would just accept my blanket statement that a cover bands' sound is unique. they wouldn't demand an explanation of such an unexplainable irony.
faux2 and i had a major falling out. i wanted to beat them up for not being more quotable. i cursed gredge's evasiveness and faux bono's witticisms. i cursed the fact that they didn't have a steady faux adam, which forced me to write about the world's most famous foursome as though they were being impersonated by a mere three.
i wanted to kill them dead.
until friday, december 29th, when i began to fear that this article would go on endlessly into the new year and therefore relaunched my research efforts. newly committed, i headed over to the faux2 website. there, i discovered that they switched faux bonos three months ago. the faux2 article was completely obsolete. my only thought: hallelujah!
ladies and gentlemen, we can now put the fun back in faux2.