26 September 2006

24 pillbox tested, pirate approved



for quite some time, i've had four primary addictions: diet coke, gluesticks, bonnie bell chapsticks, and h+m. now, there's the official pillbox gum.

by some complete trick of fate, i-- who really don't even like gum, the tropics or the twist-- happened upon trident tropical twist gum. it is unspeakably awesome. even the bombshell agrees.

it has become "Our Gum." as we pace the aisles of what used to be the osco that carried at least half the things we needed, but is now laboriously being converted to a CVS that sells toilet paper only by the individual roll, there are always checkout exclamations of ooooh. at least they have Our Gum! they may not have diet drinks, cereal, makeup, shampoo, cat litter or sticks of chap or glue, but somehow Our Gum is always there.

the most powerful testament that i can offer to the wonderousness of the tropical twist is this: i slipped the dread pirate a piece at the man man show. we were mid-convo about curious facial hair and hoodies. i was saying something benignly witty and making grandiose gestures when the dread pirate said: WOW. with a sidelong glance, i got a pretty good idea of what it must have been like to see the apostle paul on the road to damascus. there was the dread pirate, bathed in the red glow of stage lights, beaming and reaching out to steady himself. promptly began racking my brain for what witticism could have been so stupifyingly glorious. then i remembered. Our Gum. it's that damn good.

24 comments:

nick said...

this picture - print ad worthy. you really should send it to the trident people. it says, i am woman ready to pounce on the day. my keys, my glasses... and must have my trident gum! fabulous.

Les Savy Ferd said...

everything should at least be given a dry run pirate testing, you know, for quality control purposes. I'm not saying pirates have unimpeachable taste, we do make mistakes (owning Deerhoof albums, take THAT, hipsters!), but quite often we can be relied upon in the clutch. The clutch here being surrounded by ill-conceived man-hair formations and indefensible lead-singer gyrations.

Les Savy Ferd said...

damn you unplanned rhyme! Now you all know my most secret weakness.

Bombsy said...

And let's not forget that this gum has the magical ability to envelope the chewer in a delightful peach scented aura. It's amazing, I can smell it at five paces.

oline said...

mr. jock, thank you much. obviously my love of photography has come back in full force after the white trashedness and the augustus the ruckus photo shoot. the viever is very glad packs of gum are willing to pose so she doesn't have to give into my every photographical whim.

dear dread pirate, every rhyme, whether planned or unplanned, is a miracle and all are welcome here at seuss in the city.

bombsy, it was magical to sit in front of you at the baseball game and have Our Gum wafting over me on the breezes.

nick said...

a peach aura... wow. i'm going to have to give this one a go.

but, the packaging here does give me two questions...

1) what is xylitol?

2) why is it important that i know it is in the gum?

possible answers:

1) a peach aura accelerant, maximizing wafting powers

2) it is important to know as any peach lovers within a city block will come to find you

oline said...

according to the package, xylitol (which does sound suspiciously like a peach scented cleaning product) is a "sugar free sweetner derived from natural sources" and you can learn more about it at www.tridentgum.com. for the nutritionally concerned, tropical twist trident WITH XYLITOL is not a low calorie food, though it's calorie content is represented as being "<5". it comes in a handy dandy pouch which can be open and closed if you are unlike the oline and don't just rip into it then bitch when you have loose gums all over the place.

oline said...

the phrase "loose gums" is REALLY disgusting!

Bombsy said...

you are the best cat photographer ever. with anybody else, it might be wierd to have one's animals photographed so extensively. with you, it's adorable and delightful.
thank you so much for watching augustus during trashfest.

oline said...

it is rather naughty that i only photograph your pets when you aren't around. like it's kitty porn or something. but you're more than welcome to chaperone, my love. and if ever a shoot is needed with you and your felines, as we've already established, i'm so there saying "me likie!"

Bombsy said...

again, i am so tickled by that image "me likie!"
oooh, we should do a ridiculously pretentious photo shoot with me in a ball gown (i have my prom dress) and phoebus & augustus in bowties, against a pastoral setting (we'll use my coffee table with the big french painting on it). how freaking fabulous would that be?

oline said...

that's it. we're doing it. partner and i spent all of high school sneaking cameras into dressing rooms at the mall and taking pictures of each other in tacky gowns so i'm very experienced in the genre of ridiculously pretentious ball gownery shoots!. get your boys in their bowties!

nick said...

would like to go ahead and put in my order for a 5 x 7 glossy, please.

Bombsy said...

um, i'll do this for reals. are we doing this? 'cause i'll do this.

Meggie said...

Caro... Was it you and I or Evie and I that did the whole sneak the camera in while trying on prom gowns? I know it was Evie, Jenna, Mel, and I in New York... But this was at Dillards in Cool Springs and it was one of those horrid sparkly numbers and I got stuck in it. The dress trapped my arms to my side and I could not wiggle free... Was that you or Eves??

Osutein-sensei said...

I must have this gum.

nick said...

i love this blog convo for being completely schizophrenic.

Bombsy said...

Olikie...have discussed portrait sitting with the Dauphin and the Duc D'Orleans and both are down with the idea.

oline said...

nichOlas- your order has been taken, sir.

bombsy- hels yess. (and because that has to be the most ridiculous typo ever, am leaving it to dazzle you all.)

meggie- eves, i think. we didn't try on prom dresses did we? didn't my mum make mine? how stupid am i that i can't quite remember? is this 1998?

osutein- get it. it's the gum of your life.

bombsy, again- i love being Olikie. i am, however, ONoLikie because you wouldn't eat that whoopie pie!

Meggie said...

Carolina, your mom made yours. It was ice blue satin (I have a picture of us like five feet away from me). Don't you remember that odd prom? I got hit on by drunk guys. Eves dropped the bread down her dress. You had cleavage problems all night (and remember I kinda helped according to that one picture by pushing half the top down). Amy's glass had a hole in it and leaked water everywhere. Just an odd prom.

oline said...

ooooh. no. my mum made the dress for the other prom. the white one. think we bought the blue one the night before. that was the prom where S scared all us prudes with his sweaty dancing!

Bombsy said...

i have THE best ballgown for this. this is gonna be the funniest/wierdest/awesomest feline photoshoot ever.

oline said...

shall we set the date?! shall i bring all my wigs and jewels and scarves and gypsy garb? how have we not been doing this all along? our prospensity for discovering hitherto unknown nuances within our own coolness is staggering.

Meggie said...

Steven's dancing?? I must have repressed it. Please do not remind me. I swear I thought your mom made the blue dress too. I know she made the white one and you borrowed my purse and later bought the purse on ebay.