17 May 2006

3 uh... porn

really had no intention of writing about this, but since my parents are out of the country and (fingers crossed) not pining away for me and therefore checking my blog on a daily basis- now would be most propitious. last week (ironically on the same day as that "uh..." guy invaded the pillboxing), one of the magazine's photographers "accidentally" emailed me an article of pornography. at the time i was at the bakery, innocently eating a glorious 75 cent pretzel and savoring the unfolding "uh..." guy drama, so this was brought to my attention by a most uncomfortable voicemail (ironically, also dominated by uhness): "uh... caroline... xxxxx xxxxx here... i just accidentally sent you an email... uh... titled "a treat for you"... uh ... DON'T OPEN IT... uh... it was meant for a buddy of mine. it's... uh... this running joke we have... IT WAS JUST A JOKE... and i about DIED when i realized it went to you... UH... so... please... DON'T OPEN IT." that message alone was enough to indicate that porn was sitting in my email. this fact was only reenforced by the three other eerily similar voicemails and two post-porn emails received while we were at croft's birthday dinner. despite my breezy "it was unopened and deleted. no worries" friday morning email, there were an additional three "DON'T OPEN a treat for you"-related missives and two voicemails before 8 a.m. the following morning. though i'm up and working at 7 a.m., really have no desire for human contact and it's entirely too early to talk porn. but alas, because xxxxx xxxxx was rather obsessive in the phone calling, he eventually tracked me down and at 8.17 a.m. on a friday morning, we had an "i didn't look at the porn you accidentally sent and i'm going to try not to judge you for that even though you've always been a creepy little man and you wore that horrid mismatched floral thing the last time i saw you but i know the fact that you covered an event at my parents' church a month ago is probably torturing you so i'll be all smooth and continental about it" convo. his sigh of relief was deafening. the boss' laughter made it entirely worthwhile. of course, now everything we do is prefaced with "this is not porn." a treat for me indeed.

3 comments:

Bombsy said...

I think your photographer has steered his career taboggon down the wrong path. Decidedly NOT a treat for you.

Clark "not so effen hardcore" Price said...

Forward me the e-mail. I just have to know. You KNOW my e-mail address. I will let you know if it is anything too deviant.

oline said...

so true, bombshell. well put. really, nearly every aspect in life could be described as a taboggon. sex taboggon, career taboggon, friend taboggon. yay. a new source of funness.

and for all interested parties- the email has long since been deleted so there will be no treat for you! (yes, i KNOW your email address and i FROWN upon it!)